Are you a woman who is going to marry an Italian man?

I feel it’s important to share this here, just in case some people browse through the internet and find my blog. I just want to share some to do list here, because from my experience, it’s not easy to deal with the paperworks of marriage in Indonesia with an expat. So while it is still fresh in my mind (since we just got married 2 months ago), here I put the ‘rundown of to do’ if you plan to marry an Italian man in Indonesia (precisely in Jakarta) according to Indonesian laws. I assume that those who read my post here not only Indonesian, you could be Italian (the hubby wannabe) too… but since I am not able to speak Italian yet, so I write in English as international language.

For my family, if you are a daughter, marriage is a must to be done in Indonesia. My husband once asked me, “how if we get married in Italy, is it possible?” and for sure my answer was: “impossible!”. So, since we were so in love and really want to build a family… and my family wanted it to be held in Indonesia, we did the to do list of getting married in Indonesia according to Indonesian law. After my husband proposed me, I talked right away to my family in Jakarta and then prepared to do all the papers. Marrying an Italian which is an expatriate or also known as WNA (warga Negara Asing) needs different papers than marrying a fellow Indonesian, both countries has their own law that we have to follow accordingly because it is a mixed marriage.

So, here are the steps:

1. For yourself, go to RT, and ask Pak/Bu RT to make the Surat Pengantar Kelurahan untuk Menikah. Ask your father to sign it (to permit you to get married), and then in Kelurahan they will make 3 different papers. This paper will also stated that you are single and eligible to get married. To make this paper, you have to bring: KTP (ID card), Kartu Keluarga (Family Card) and Birth Certificate. And then they will legalize the paper so you can bring to KUA – Kantor Urusan Agama (if you are a muslim) with other papers needed. For birth certificate, you cannot bring an old one, because later in the embassy of Italy, they will ask for the new one. So for this, you can make the new duplicate in Dinas Kependudukan & Pencatatan Sipil DKI Jakarta (but if you were not born in Jakarta, just find the office accordingly). I made it and it needs only 2 days to make it.

2. Your future husband needs to make his own paper too for the KUA. This paper has to be formally made by the embassy of Italy. For this, The embassy needs his birth certificate and a letter that stated that he is single. This paper can be make at the comune (municipality). Since my husband was in Indonesia, so he asked the help from his family to make this letter and they send to me by air-mail. The embassy needs the original one, they will not accept fax, or copy or scanned one. This will need 10 working days.

3. Another thing your future husband need to make is paper from the police (if your husband not reside in Indonesia), it’s something like report paper that you are in Indonesia and wanted to marry an Indonesia woman bla bla bla. My husband was residing in Kemayoran area (he was coming with visa on arrival) and had to report at the Matraman Police Office, then you just tell there that you need a paper of ‘Lapor Diri’ for him. They can make it instantly, just give them Rp 50,000 🙂 But if your husband resides and works in Indonesia with KITAS etc, so sorry I don’t know what other papers he will need… as far as I know he must have the tax papers, KITAS, etc for the KUA. But usually if you have KITAS, then the sponsor of your husband will help to do it (like my brother-in-law did when he was going to marry my sister, he is a british guy).

4. After you get all those papers from your future husband, bring it to the embassy of Italy with your own papers, which are: Birth certificate, KTP (or passport) and a paper from Kelurahan stating that you are single. And then the embassy will make a formal paper stating that he is single and this paper will be needed by the KUA.

5. After your husband gets those papers (including his copy of passport and if he convert to Islam, you must bring this paper too also photos 3 of your future husband and 3 of yourself sized 2 x 3cm FC, blue background) , then u bring them all to KUA along with your own papers. After that, you arrange the wedding date with Pak Penghulu (the guy who will marrying you both in Islamic way). In this case, you must deal for the price. They will ask for big money because in their mind (maybe) marrying an expat means money. Anyway… just deal. You need it or the marriage will be outrageously expensive!

Now… you already get married, right? Congratulations, now you are husband and wife! But you know what? the marriage is only legal in Indonesia territory, not in Italy territory. Why is that???

When you get married, you will get Buku Nikah (marriage book). FYI, this marriage book is not accepted in Italy if you want to register there. For sure your marriage is legal in Indonesia if you have this Buku Nikah (its not like when you just married with Pak Penghulu with no papers a.k.a Nikah Bawah Tangan). So you need to make a letter in Dinas Kependudukan & Pencatatan Sipil (if you reside in Jakarta and get married in Jakarta, just go to their office in Tomang area). Then they will make Surat Keterangan Perkawinan. The look will be like your diploma, hahaha. To make this,  just bring your Buku Nikah, copy of passport of your husband, your ID card, Kartu Keluarga and Birth Certificate, 2 photos of you and your husband side by side in one frame of 4 x6cm (FC, blue background).

After you get this original paper with authentic sign from the head of Dinas Kependudukan & Pencatatan Sipil, bring it to the embassy of Italy… and then they will translate this letter into Italian and send it to the comune of where your husband’s reside. Some couple needs to legalize this paper to some departments, but I didn’t need to do it. I think it depends on what the embassy needs. If you give the original one, usually you don’t need to legalize to departments. But if you give the copied one, then you should do it. You need to get the stamps from: Departemen Agama, Departemen Hukum & HAM and the last to Departemen Luar Negeri. Woohooo, complicated! Thanks god I didn’t need to do this long process.

Btw, with this paper from Dinas Kependudukan & Pencatatan Sipil, you also can make a 1-year visa for yourself (if you intend to go to Italy after marriage). When you arrived in Italy, go to the comune and checked if they already accept it from the embassy of Italy in Jakarta – then they will registrate the marriage in Italy.

Voila! Your marriage now is legal internationally – in Indonesia and Italy 🙂

Anyway, it is not easy to arrange, prepare 3 months in advance! We did it in a month, but it was horrible since I was working so really hard to arrange the time… As you know the bureaucracy in Indonesia is crazy, maybe I get lucky to be able to prepare everything in time, god bless us! Prepare at least Rp 3,000,000 to do this and that, but it depends on how much you pay the Pak Penghulu, I dealt on Rp 1,500,000. But if you use an agent, it will cost you much more for sure!

Next blog I will post about permesso di soggiorno (residence permit), but I am still on the line for the interview. Wish me luck!